May 31, 2016 · 4 min read

(originally posted on medium.com)

Is all OK? NO. And that is completely OK.

This is probably the most important life lesson ever. It will help you a lot. Read on. You will get the answer in 1 minute. But: do not cheat: do not scroll down to read it.

The answer will kick you, pull you, surprise you and will not be all OK. It will hurt you, it will be maybe unclear “why?” at first reading and you will be pissed why noone told you this before.

You were born — all OK

First came Cinderella and her companions. Princes and princesses fought a little then in the end everything became all OK. Our mother and father did everything to make it all OKfor us. Quite often, apart from the car or doll you wanted so much and they did not buy.

Kindergarden, school — all OK

Then came the kindergarden and the school. You were told to be a good boy or girl. And the promise was that if you would be a good boy or girl then you will have kids, a beautiful wife or husband, you can live together with the ones you love. And you will have a job as a firefighter, policeman or nurse. And it will be all OK.

If you were smart and determined enough you could get that sports scholarship, that college or university degree. And you got even more promises, to make it all OK.

Adulthood

You got your first job: “work hard and it will be all OK”. A few decades later: you can retire soon. And then it will be all OK. And as they told you all these often — it became your most basic expectation.

They even built entire businesses around this: Buy an insurance. Get another university degree / MBA / profession. Find the love of your life. Get a better, newer car. Buy a bigger house. Move to another country. Convert to another religion. Love God.

And, just to check that you learnt all these lessons, you hear every day the same question: is everything OK?

WHY IT IS ALL OK

that not everything is OK? Because bad things happen all the time.

To make it a little better (but NOT “ALL OK”) you need one thing:

WORK

WHAT DOES IT MEAN?

To make life not that miserable, a little better — you have to work hard. It is not a light walk in the park.

LOVE

I am sure you thought about it a lot why love is so much wanted. Because that is: being happy without work. It just comes. Happens. It is there. You do not have to pay for it. Work hard for it. But nothing is farer from the truth. Of course you have to work hard to keep love. Crazy? It is. But you know it or if you do not, you will learn it. You should not become fat after you found your love of your life. You should not stop doing the things s/he loves you for. You should not dress in dirty / shitty pieces of clothes. It is all work. What else?

MONEY. THINGS.

Let’s assume you collect some money or buy that thing: a house, car, whatever. Then you think when you have it, it will be all OK. Money or your house is just an asset: thing to look after. It is all work. What else?

GOD. RELIGION. YOGA.

You find God. Then you think it will be all OK. You just read the answers in a book and then it will be all OK. Or: do your everyday yoga and it will be all OK. All these, if you do not practice them (=work!), worth nothing. Again, it is all work: to put into practice what you read, hear or feel. What else?

FREEDOM

You can give away all your assets. Leave your work. Even your loved ones. I have bad news for you: to sustain the state of bliss (=happiness) you wanted so much will be lots of work. And to sustain freedom is lots of work, as well.

HAPPINESS

This is the last piece: happiness itself. You become Buddha. Jesus. You become enlightened. Then it will be all OK.

Not. Of course. To sustain the state of happiness: it is work.

LIFE IS WORK. ACCEPT IT. THEN ENJOY.

Life is misery. Shit happens. You have to work on that shit. Every day. And no: it will not be ALL OK. Sometimes, for some seconds, maybe.

Accept it. The more you do the more it will be ALL OK.